


Even Darkness Must Pass

by Finely Honed (jaqen_hgar)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Avengers Family, Bisexual Bucky Barnes, Bisexual Tony Stark, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Bucky Barnes's Metal Arm, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Father-Daughter Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, M/M, Mild Sexual Content, Multiverse, Of Love and Hobbits, Parent Tony Stark, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Lord of the Rings, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-24
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-25 13:22:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3812086
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaqen_hgar/pseuds/Finely%20Honed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <span class="small">Someone requested a story where Tony has a shy/withdrawn child that had trouble warming up to the other Avengers, but likes Bucky right away. Their friendship helps Bucky heal post Winter Soldier. Combined with a prompt asking for nerd love, where Bucky had read the Hobbit back in the day, and Tony introduces him to Lord of the Rings.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>“Fake it till you make it,” Bucky whispered to himself, swallowing around his panic. Sam had drilled the idea into him, and it had become a mantra of sorts, something to hold onto when all he wanted to do was blend into the shadows and disappear.</p><p>“You’ll be fine.”</p><p>Steve placed a warm, strong hand on Bucky’s shoulder and squeezed, his super soldier ears having picked up Bucky uttering the now familiar saying.</p><p>Bucky nodded, tried to believe his own words, and followed Steve onto the common floor, a wall of sound hitting them as they entered.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Even Darkness Must Pass

**Author's Note:**

> FULL PROMPTS:
> 
> Imagine Tony has a young child &, for some reason or another, s/he is very shy & withdrawn with strangers, & it took him/her a very long time to warm to the rest of the Avengers. However, when Steve brings Bucky into the tower s/he takes & opens up to him right away, much to everyone (but especially Tony's) shock. Not only that, but Bucky does very well with and opens up to the kid in a way he hasn't since the brainwashing, bonding with him/her & healing himself as well.
> 
> Imagine Bucky read the Hobbit when it came out, and Tony finds out and lends him old tattered copies of the LotR books that he’s read about a hundred times at least. Bucky loves them, and they watch the movies and Tony takes to calling him Elvish endearments in bed because he’s a huge geeky sap, e.g. Meleth e-guilen means love of my life.

“Fake it till you make it,” Bucky whispered to himself, swallowing around his panic. Sam had drilled the idea into him, and it had become a mantra of sorts, something to hold onto when all he wanted to do was blend into the shadows and disappear.

“You’ll be fine.”

Steve placed a warm, strong hand on Bucky’s shoulder and squeezed, his super soldier ears having picked up Bucky uttering the now familiar saying.

Bucky nodded, tried to believe his own words, and followed Steve onto the common floor, a wall of sound hitting them as they entered.

Natasha looked up immediately, holding his gaze for a moment before nodding, and looking away. Bucky had the feeling she was still watching him though, and his skin crawled.

Bruce Banner, aka The Hulk, was sitting in an armchair nearby, an amused expression on his face. “That is  _not_  the third law of thermodynamics, and you know it.”

There was a triumphant shout, and something on the TV exploded, sending a shudder of dread through Bucky. It was just a video game—Steve had told him about those—but the sounds of gunfire and carnage were like nails on a chalkboard.

“Maybe,” he whispered, taking a step back toward the elevator, thinking he’d finish the sentence with, “maybe we should do this another time,” but Steve took him by the hand and led him another two or three steps into the room.

“No way!” someone else cried. “You cheated! I don’t know how, but you  _did_.”

On one half of the screen, someone was blowing things up, confusingly causing confetti and kittens to fly everywhere, while on the other, a simulated soldier was lying broken in a pool of blood, that half of the screen slowly fading to black. Bucky closed his eyes, counted to ten, then opened them again in time to see the person who’d complained about cheating pop into view armed with a pillow. Clint Barton, aka Hawkeye.

“I’m shocked! I don’t need to cheat; I’m awesome.”

“You’re a dick,” Clint swore, swinging the pillow at the speaker.

“Brothers,” and that was a bellow, for sure, and issuing from the alien Thor Odinson. Despite his interruption, he didn’t seem particularly concerned with what was happening around him as he sipped from a large mug.

“Language, birdbrain,” and although he couldn’t see him, Bucky had to assume via process of elimination that this voice belonged to Tony Stark, aka Iron Man. “There’s a lady present.”

Clint paused, looking down, then quickly attempted to hide the pillow behind his back. “Sorry. It’s just  _someone_  is a cheating liar-face.”

“It’s not my fault you don’t know how to play.”

“There isn’t an atomic kitten bomb in the game, Tony, so how did you just kill me with one?”

Tony stood up, although it didn’t help much. Barton still had a couple inches on him. “Do you have any idea how busy I am? Why would I waste time hacking into your game in order to program kittens into it?”

“Who else would do it? I don’t see anyone else around here…”

“Fellas!” Steve interrupted, and everyone turned, Clint and Tony exchanging nervous glances like little kids who knew they were in trouble. “Sorry, just… This is Bucky.”

All eyes were on him then, and the cold, nervous sensation of dread washing through his body made Bucky want to puke. He shifted uncomfortably, and nodded his greeting, not trusting his voice.

“Welcome,” Tony said, his voice taking on an almost ominous tone as he swept his arms wide, “to the monkey house.”

Clint elbowed him in his side. “Barnes,” he said, whipping off a sloppy salute.

“Any friend of Steven’s is most welcome amongst our number,” Thor boomed, coming to shake his hand.

Bucky managed a strained, “Thanks.”

Natasha simply smiled and nodded again, while Bruce came over to shake his hand and exchange a soft spoken greeting. Steve patted him on the back, a gentle nudge to head on in, which he managed. Just.

Thankfully, Tony had turned off the TV. Bucky approached cautiously, coming to a stop when he spotted Tony, crouched down and talking quietly to a small figure seated on the couch. His expression was entirely different from the one Bucky had just seen on his face, all soft, sweet, and adoring.

“Remember we talked about Steve’s best friend coming to stay with us?” Tony asked quietly. A little head nodded agreement, arms wrapping tightly around a large stuffed rabbit. “Well, today is the big day. Isn’t that nice for Steve?”

“Yes.”

Bucky was frozen in place. Steve had given him the heads up about Tony’s daughter Maria, that she was incredibly sweet and bright, but not great with strangers. It had taken ages before she’d come out from behind her father’s leg if Steve or one of the other Avengers—with the exception of Bruce—was in the room. From what he’d gathered, she’d gotten better, but Bucky wasn’t too proud to admit that the idea of interacting with a child scared the crap out of him. He still scared  _himself_  when he looked in the mirror sometimes; the kid would probably scream at the sight of him.

There she was though, looking alarmingly small. He couldn’t see her face from where he was standing, but could see that sections of her wavy brown hair had been pulled back on either side, woven into precise braids, each clipped with barrettes that looked suspiciously like little wrenches. She had on striped stockings, bunny slippers on her little feet, accompanied by what looked to be a purple corduroy skirt, and a blue top.

Tony glanced up at Bucky, smiling, and suddenly he understood why this was the guy they put in front of the cameras. It wasn’t just that he was handsome—Tony had one hell of a smile at his disposal, the sort that hit you low, and left you feeling a little too warm. Or maybe that was just him.

“Would you like to meet him?” Tony asked, refocusing his attention on his daughter.

Bucky tensed, heart hammering. He was all in black, a glove over his metal hand, a hoodie pulled over his clothes even though it was warm in the Tower, the hood up so he could hide easier. He probably looked like a monster, would definitely scare the little girl.

She turned and looked up at him, and he stayed put, not wanting to make things worse by running from the room screaming.

“Hi,” she said, smiling shyly. “This is Rho-Rho.” She held the bunny up for Bucky to see, grinning. “My Uncle Rhodey gave him to me.”

She looked like she was maybe six tops, and while some of her pronunciations were still a bit off—the R’s rather consistently sounded more like W’s—she seemed exceptionally articulate, so Bucky guessed she was just small for her age. Tony wasn’t exactly towering over anyone, so it’d make sense if his kid was tiny, too.

Bucky waved, but she shook the rabbit, so he took a careful step forward, and shook one of it’s fuzzy paws. “Nice to meet ya, Rho-Rho.”

The little girl laughed. “He can’t talk, he’s just a stuffed animal.”

Which, okay, fair. Bucky snorted, and shrugged. “I’ve seen a lotta weird stuff, doll. Talking rabbits wouldn’t even surprise me.”

Maria had big brown eyes, and a smile that was bright enough to give her dad a run for his money. It was hard not to smile back, even for someone as out of practice as himself, so he cracked an awkward grin, and folded his arms across his chest, not sure what the hell he was supposed to do now.

“Why do you have a glove?” Bucky twitched, tucked his left hand under his right arm. Tony winced, opened his mouth, but Maria continued on, oblivious. “Oh! Daddy,” she squeaked, looking to him for a second before shuffling around to stand on the couch, leaning up over the back to try to get a look at Bucky’s hand. “That’s his… his bionic arm! He has a glove like Luke.”

Tony fidgeted, shooting confused and nervous glances at Bucky. “That’s right, babycakes, but maybe Bucky doesn’t…”

“Luke Skywalker’s right hand was cut off,” she told Bucky, grinning up at him. “Daddy says your  _whole arm_  is super special. Why’re you hiding it?”

Bucky’s jaw dropped, and he shuffled. “Um, I… It’s scary?”

Maria’s eyes widened, her mouth making a little ‘O’ of surprised. “Scary how? Is it  _slimy_? Do bugs come out? Oh, does it have angry fangs all over it?”

Her questions were accompanied by adorably expressive facial acrobatics. Apparently scary was something to be excited about, rather than feared. Completely taken aback, Bucky just shook his head, and to his own surprise, tugged off the glove and wiggled his fingers.

“No, just…metallic.”

“It’s shiny!” she exclaimed, stretching to look. “That’s not scary, it’s  _pretty_.”

Bucky stared at his fingers. They didn’t look pretty to him, but of course he knew how many lives those fingers had helped end. He dragged his eyes away, turning to check on where the hell Steve was, and found that everyone in the room was watching him, similar amazed expressions on all of their faces.

“Can I see your arm? Only if it doesn’t make you sad. Daddy says sometimes people get sad about what makes them special, even though they shouldn’t.”

None of them looked as surprised as Tony, though, who was staring at his daughter like she was a stranger. He didn’t look upset, exactly, just… maybe confused, and even a little proud, and Bucky had no idea what the hell was going on, especially with himself.

“Yeah, okay, sure,” he answered, unzipping the hoodie.

He felt exposed, but clenched his jaw, and tossed the hoodie onto the back of the couch, shifting awkwardly as he pushed up the sleeve of his shirt. But Maria wasn’t even looking at his arm yet, she was too busy smiling up at his face. It was hard to feel self-conscious when someone just beamed at you like that, so Bucky relaxed a little.

“You have long hair,” she said, sounding pleased. “Daddy braids my hair for me.” She turned her head to either side, showing off her little braids.

“Very nice.”

“He can braid your hair, too, right Daddy?”

She looked over her shoulder hopefully. Tony tugged on one of her braids, and smiled almost bashfully. “Bucky might not want braids, Miss Maria.”

Tony stood up, extended his hand, and to Bucky’s surprise, began speaking in Russian. “I’m so, so sorry if she’s making you uncomfortable, I didn’t really prepare for this.”

Bucky took the offered hand, not failing to notice Tony had opted to shake with his left rather than the right, showing no hesitation or discomfort when coming into contact with the cool metal. “It’s fine.”

“Seriously, this is not normal. It took me months to convince her it was okay to talk to  _Steve_ , and he smells like apple pie and helps old ladies cross the street,” Tony explained, grinning. “I don’t want to discourage her, which is why I’m sort of letting her run riot on you here, so just let me know if she makes you uncomfortable, okay?”

“Daddy,” Maria groaned, glaring up at him with both hands on her little hips. “No fair! I can’t understand.”

“Sorry, buttercup,” Tony answered, patting the top of her head and rolling his eyes as soon as she looked away.

Maria narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “Were you talking about adult things?”

“That’s for me to know, and you to find out,” Tony countered.

“Did you ask him on a date?” she whispered, only she was whispering in the way kids do, which meant half the room had to be able to hear her.

Clint chose this moment to vault over the back of the couch and snatch his controller back up, bursting into hysterics on the way down. Tony’s face was distinctly pinker than it had been before Maria’s question, his expression sort of like he was bracing for impact.

“Alright, Parker Nosy, that’s quite enough of that,” Tony snatched her up, balancing her on his hip. “Let’s let Bucky settle in.”

“But I didn’t get to play with his arm,” she whined, swinging her legs in an attempt to get back down.

“It’s his arm, not a toy,” Tony corrected her. “Besides, I’m pretty sure you have a date with the solar system in ten minutes, yes?”

Maria looked hopeful. “Bucky can come with me and learn about the planets.”

“Maybe next time, if you ask him real nice.”

Tony shot him yet another apologetic look, still a bit pink in the cheeks. Bucky didn’t miss the way he accidentally smacked the still chortling Clint on the back of the head with one of Maria’s slippered feet as he made his way around the couch.

“Bye, Bucky,” Maria said, sounding sad.

“See you soon,” Bucky answered, offering her his metal hand to shake. Her face lit up as she shook it, so Bucky added, “Nice talking with you.”

Which, oddly enough, was the truth. He gave Tony a nod, and shoved his hands in his pockets as he watched the two of them leaving. Maria watched him from over Tony’s shoulder, waving once or twice before they made it inside the elevator.

It was only as his anxiety slowly returned that he realized how much it had lessened when he was talking to the little girl. Bucky snatched up his hoodie, slid it back on, and only talked to Steve for the rest of the afternoon, only feeling at ease again once he was behind closed doors.

+

“So, is Tony widowed?”

Steve had a confused look on his face when he looked up from his pancakes. “No.”

Bucky waited for more information, but it seemed like nothing was forthcoming. From what he’d observed, it appeared Tony was the only parental figure in Maria’s life, which seemed odd. Single dads weren’t exactly the norm when he and Steve had been growing up in the old neighborhood.

“Divorced then?”

“He’s single, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Steve shoved another mouthful of pancakes into his face, and smiled like the smartass that he was. Bucky felt the tips of his ears growing warm, and wanted to kick Steve under the table, but refused to give him the satisfaction.

“I’m trying to figure out who Maria’s mom is, punk.”

Steve suddenly grew serious. “Ah. Well. That’s complicated.”

“How complicated can it be?”

Steve took a deep, resigned breath, and began. “Well, it involves HYDRA experimentation, multiple universes, and…”

Bucky held his hands up, shaking his head vehemently. “Just. Stop there. No mom in the picture, is that what it boils down to?”

“Yes.”

That Bucky could wrap his head around, and it made him sad. Tony was obviously a devoted dad, but still. It had to be tough, raising a kid on your own, even with money and resources.

“Seems she’s taken a liking to you,” Steve pointed out. “She’s asked after you the last two times I’ve seen her. I’m sure Tony wouldn’t mind if you wanted to swing by, and say hello.”

Bucky could read between the lines. Since arriving, he’d spent as much time as possible holed up on their floor, opting to eat alone, work out alone, do pretty much everything alone. It wasn’t like the others had made him feel unwelcome. To the contrary, they’d tried to make a space for him without applying any pressure. It was just difficult, being around them all.

If he was being honest, the only time he could recall feeling comfortable had been during that first conversation with Tony’s daughter.

“He doesn’t need me creeping around,” Bucky insisted, pushing pancakes around his plate. He ignored Steve’s little sigh, closing his eyes when he felt Steve give him a comforting pat on the shoulder.

“It might be good for her, too,” he said, heading off to wash his dishes.

But that didn’t make much sense at all, so Bucky just spent that day the same way he spent most of every day, if Steve would let him get away with it; alone.

+

The last person he expected to see when opening their door was Tony Stark, but there he was, decked out in an expensive suit, looking ever so slightly rumpled, but still more put together than Bucky had ever seen anyone look.

“Hey, sorry to just drop in like this. Can we talk for like five minutes?”

Bucky considered pointing out that Tony owned the place, but instead he just stepped aside, and allowed Tony to sweep in, following him into the living room. He watched Stark pace a tight circle before he spun around, looking anxious and uncomfortable.

“Uh, so, just a heads up, I’m on day three of no sleep, so I might ramble a bit, and probably won’t make sense half the time. How are you doing, by the way?”

“Fine,” Bucky answered carefully, trying not to sound like he thought Tony was crazy.

“Good. Okay, so, I know these things take time, and the last thing you need is me pressuring you to reacclimate to society when you’re not ready,” Tony pinched the bridge of his nose. “I’m not sure what else to do at this point, though.”

There was a strange bottom dropping out sensation, and despite himself, Bucky made a little panicked noise. Tony’s eyes narrowed, and he pointed.

“Stop, no, whatever you’re thinking, I guarantee that it isn’t what I’m here about, so no jumping to awful conclusions.”

He nodded, and folded his arms across his chest, and waited, not breathing.

“Maria is really upset that you haven’t been leaving your floor,” Tony announced, and suddenly Bucky was tense for entirely different reasons.

“So you  _don’t_ want me to leave the Tower?” he asked, just to be certain.

“No, definitely not, do not leave the Tower,” Tony insisted, stepping forward with both of his hands up as if he might have to grab Bucky and keep him from running out the door. “That would be disastrous. Opposite, I want the opposite of that, I want you _in_ the Tower, all over it. Specifically, I was hoping you might have dinner with us tonight.”

“Why?”

Tony’s shoulders slumped a bit, and for a split second Bucky thought he might actually cry, but then he straightened up and looked like he was ready for a TV appearance.

“Okay, this was stupid, I’m sorry, really, I shouldn’t have bothered you.”

There were memories Bucky wished he didn’t have access to, and some of those centered around close observation of a target. Despite torture being an unreliable method of extracting information, he’d been around it enough to make observations, to pick up on when someone was lying.

Tony was exceptionally good at it; he lied with his entire body, wrapped himself up in it and projected it outward. Bucky was willing to bet Tony could beat a polygraph, maybe even withstand certain chemical incentives to speak the truth.

“Why is Maria upset?” Bucky clarified, stepping in front of Tony to prevent him from leaving.

Something in Tony’s expression shifted. “She thinks she hurt your feelings.” That surprised him, and he let Tony see it. Interestingly enough, Stark seemed to relax a bit. “Yeah, I tried to explain you’re just shy like she is, but she’s not buying it.”

“What should I wear?” Tony arched an eyebrow at him, and Bucky remembered his warning about being sleep deprived. “To dinner.”

“Ah! Um, anything comfortable?”

Bucky shuffled his feet. “Just the three of us?”

Tony looked nervous and fidgety again. “If that’s okay? Normally I’d say bring Steve, but she’s been extra withdrawn lately.”

The longer he looked, the more Bucky could see how worried Tony was. It made him think about how he’d get when Steve had an asthma flare up, that awful sense of powerlessness, and he found himself wanting to give Tony a hug. To be safe, he wrapped his arms around himself, instead.

“Alright, then. What time?”

The relief washed over Tony’s face, taking some of the exhaustion with it. “Six o'clock, you don’t need to bring anything. Uh, it’ll be vegetarian because once she figured out where meat came from she lost her mind. Wouldn’t talk to me for a couple days, made JARVIS relay all her messages to me.”

Despite himself, Bucky smiled at this, shared it with Tony. “That’s fine. See you then?”

“Great! Excellent, thank you,” Tony babbled, pointing at the door. “I’ll just, ah, see you then.”

Bucky watched him leave, then watched the clock until it was time to get ready.

+

Maria was the one to answer the door, her expression guarded until she realized who was there.

“Bucky!” she shrieked, actually jumping up and down. “Daddy, it’s  _Bucky_!”

“I know, pumpkin, he’s gonna have dinner with us.”

Maria’s eyes went wide, and she grabbed for Bucky’s hand, dragging him inside. “You didn’t tell me,” she groaned, before looking up at Bucky again. “Daddy didn’t say you were coming, he just said ‘answer the door Miss Maria,’ and I  _did_  even though I didn’t want to and it was  _you_.”

“That’s a good impression of your dad,” Bucky told her, staring down in surprise when a metallic looking cat tottered past them, mewling.

“That’s Mr. Buttons,” she explained. “He’s a robot, cause Daddy says I’m too little to have an animal.”

“They’re a big responsibility.”

Maria was still holding his hand when Tony popped his head out of the kitchen. He looked as if he might have taken a nap, and was no longer wearing a suit and tie, which was a relief. He’d changed into a ratty looking band t-shirt, old work pants, and sneakers, and Bucky immediately felt more at ease in his plaid button down and jeans.

“Hey there! Dinner will be a couple minutes. Did you want the tour first, or can I get you a drink?”

“Tour, tour, tour,” Maria chanted, tugging on his hand.

“Hmm. What were my choices again?”

“Bucky,” she moaned, tugging harder.

“Okay, how ‘bout the tour.”

This was the correct choice. Maria began leading them through the suite, showing him the various cameras JARVIS used; her framed and mounted artwork, which Tony had hung all through the place; Mr. Buttons’ charging station, which looked like a litter box; and finally, her bedroom.

Bucky had expected it to be a mess of toys, or maybe an explosion of pink, but the place was almost eerily tidy.

The ceiling was painted with a mural of the solar system, parts of which glowed in the dark, and a large flat screen display took up one of the walls.

A large bookcase was along another wall, the shelves filled with an odd collection of science fiction, fantasy, what looked to be actual science textbooks, little figurines, and a microscope.

There were stuffed toys lined up neatly on her bed, posed together as if they were in the middle of a serious debate. There was also a little desk covered with neatly organized art supplies, the sketchbook resting dead center on top of it closed.

Bucky spotted some futuristic looking items he was too scared to ask about, and at least a dozen photos of her and Tony. He picked one up off of Maria’s little desk, smiling to himself. Tony and Maria were mugging for the camera, monkeys visible behind them.

“Do you like animals?” Maria asked.

“Sure.”

“Me too. I also like the solar system. And robots. May I see your arm, please?”

Bucky had wondered how long it’d take. He unbuttoned the cuff of his shirt and pushed it back, watching her face light up as more and more was exposed.

“Is it super strong?” she asked, whispering for some reason.

“Pretty strong.” Her little fingers reached out, but she stopped, looking up at him guiltily. “It’s okay, you can touch it.”

“Ooh, it’s cold,” she murmured. “Daddy’s armor is cold, too. It’s red, not silver.”

“I’ve seen it.”

Maria fidgeted, looked up at him. “Are you an Avenger now?”

Bucky began rolling his sleeve back down, shrugging his shoulders. “Someday soon, maybe. We’ll see. I have to get better first.”

“Are you sick?” Maria sounded exceptionally concerned.

He wasn’t sure how to answer her question. She was a bright kid, but what had happened to him wasn’t exactly the stuff of casual conversation.

“It’s not sick like a cold or chickenpox,” he answered after a moment. “You can’t catch it, so you don’t have to worry.”

Maria stared at him a long time, then curled a hand around his wrist and leaned closer. “Are you sick like Daddy?”

Bucky was surprised by the way his heart jerked in response to her question. “I didn’t know Tony was sick.”

Maria nodded. “Sometimes bad things happen to people, and it leaves a mark that won’t go away, and no one can see it, but you  _feel_  it. Like Frodo Baggins. He’s a hobbit. He was very brave and had adventures with Sam—I love Sam—but they were very scary and people _died_ , and when he got home he didn’t know what to do.”

Bucky sort of wanted to cry, because that was it exactly. He nodded, and swallowed, and made a mental note to have JARVIS tell him more about Frodo Baggins. He actually remembered reading and loving  _The Hobbit_  back  _before_ , but didn’t remember anyone named Frodo being in the book.

“I’m sorry if I hurt your feelings.”

“You didn’t hurt my feelings,” Bucky swore, digging a smile up from somewhere. “Your dad is right—I’m just shy these days. And, and sick like Frodo.”

Maria looked relieved, her entire demeanor brightening, and Bucky felt awful that she’d been worrying herself on his behalf.

“I promise if you ever do something to upset me, I’ll just tell you, okay? So unless I  _tell_  you that you did something wrong, you can’t be mad at yourself. Deal?”

“Deal,” she agreed, shaking the hand he offered. “Bucky, does this mean we’re friends now?”

“Absolutely.”

Maria grinned. “I’ll draw you a picture if you want.”

“That’d be great.”

Maria made it all the way to her desk before Tony popped his head in the door, a strange expression on his face.

“Dinner is served,” he announced, sauntering in with his hands in his pockets. Bucky wasn’t buying the nonchalance. “Go wash your hands, babycakes.”

“I’m not a baby, Daddy,” she whined, and Bucky only just kept himself from laughing at her put upon expression.

Tony watched her go, then faced Bucky, a little embarrassed smile on his face. “Thanks for handling that so well.”

“Eavesdropping?”

Tony had the decency to look embarrassed. “I showed up when you were telling her not to get mad at herself for no reason,” he looked over his shoulder, and lowered his voice. “She blames herself for all sorts of things that aren’t her fault. I always thought I did that because of Howard, but maybe it’s a genetic thing.”

Bucky filed that information away, along with a mental snapshot of Tony’s self-deprecating smile. “She’s got a big heart.”

Tony nodded. “It kills me some days.”

Bucky didn’t think he was kidding. It suddenly struck him that despite having the Avengers there, and Maria, that Tony must be lonely. No one else in the Tower was invested in Maria’s life the way Tony was. There was no one to share his fears with, or anyone who would appreciate her little triumphs the same way he would.

Tony stood there, a sad little smile on his face, and Bucky was taken aback when he had that damned compulsion to hug him again.

“Seems like you’re doing a good job.”

To his surprise, Tony just shrugged, and sighed, letting the compliment slide away like he didn’t deserve it. “I can’t take any credit—Maria’s just a good kid.” He gave a little nod toward the door, and headed out, leaving Bucky to follow him off to dinner.

+

Bucky stared up at his ceiling, shifting uncomfortably, unable to sleep. He couldn’t get the chill out of his bones, no matter how many blankets he piled on, because really the problem was somewhere in his head.

So he left his bed behind, pulling on more layers than necessary, and heading out into the Tower, not sure of his destination. The idea of company wasn’t exactly appealing, but neither was being alone. He’d have woken Steve, or maybe just climbed into bed with him, but he was out on a mission with Natasha and Sam, not due back for a day or two.

When he arrived, the common floor was deserted anyway, so Bucky stood in the dark, stared out into the night. Sometimes it looked familiar, but other times New York felt downright alien to him.

“Master Barnes,” JARVIS interrupted his thoughts quietly, but he still jumped in surprise. “Sir is awake and in his workshop, if you’d like company.”

“Thanks.”

He argued with himself for a good twenty minutes before finally heading down. As advertised, Tony was there and awake, although he seemed to be beating the living shit out of a piece of metal.

He looked up when Bucky walked in, gave a wave, and tossed down the blacksmithing hammer he’d been wielding. “Howdy.”

“Hey,” Bucky answered, trying not to stare when Tony lifted part of his shirt in order to wipe his hands clean, revealing more skin than Bucky had any right to see.

He looked a mess, but in the way one did when they’d been working hard and loving it. There were little grease smudges all over the place, his hair was sticking up in sections, and Bucky had the oddest compulsion to lick him.

That was alarming. Not the attraction to a man bit. Steve had gone through all of the ‘catching up with modern viewpoints’ stuff with him, which was when he learned it wasn’t actually the end of the world if you were sexually attracted to girls  _and_  guys.

Specifically, it was the attraction to  _Tony_  bit that was worrying, mostly because Steve had used him as an example when explaining bisexuality to Bucky. It would have been easier—safer—feeling this attraction to someone who wasn’t theoretically in a position to reciprocate.

“Sorry. You look busy.”

Tony waved his hands, motioning for Bucky to come in. “Technically I’m not even working. Smashing metal makes me feel better sometimes. Want a go?”

Bucky blinked. “Seriously?”

Tony swung his arms back and forth, muscles taut, skin glistening with a thin sheen of sweat, the glow of the arc reactor clearly visible through the fabric of his tanktop. “Yup. It’ll be good, actually, you’re stronger than me. I’m curious if you’re able to wreck it.”

Nervously, Bucky snatched up the hammer with his flesh and blood arm, brought it down once or twice, just to get a feel for it, then switched to his left, and promptly broke the head right off of the thing, sending it flying across the room. He spun to watch as it crashed into a wall, then gawped at Tony, not sure what to expect.

“That was awesome!”

And suddenly Bucky knew exactly where Maria’s enthusiasm came from. Tony had the exact same look on his face that she’d worn when opening the door to find Bucky there; all that was missing was the jumping up and down part. Which, oh, there it was, Tony hopping a bit on his way to grab the head of the hammer, holding it up with a triumphant grin.

“Nicely done.”

“Thanks?”

“Feel free to punch it while I dig up a crowbar or something.”

Bucky grinned, and ran his fingers over the undented bit of metal. “Nah, I’m good, I think.”

“Well, if you’re ever in the mood to smash something, let me know. It’s therapeutic.”

Tony chucked the bit of metal into a pile nearby, and rubbed his hands together before stifling a yawn. In the air nearby, there was a floating video feed of Maria sleeping soundly, sprawled across her bed like a starfish, her stuffed rabbit tucked alongside her.

Tony followed his line of sight, and smiled, nodded in her direction. “Thanks again for the other night. She’s been working on that picture for you. Don’t be surprised if she shows up to deliver it.”

Bucky smiled, ducked his head, and plopped down on the couch nearby. He was tired of second guessing himself. Tony obviously didn’t mind him lurking around the workshop, so he was going to allow himself to indulge.

“I’m not much for art, but maybe I can get Steve to draw something for her,” Bucky offered.

Tony stared at him for a moment, and Bucky could almost see his thoughts racing. “Actually. Okay, I get this is weird, and please don’t say ‘yes’ unless it’s something you’re comfortable with, because I don’t want to force you into anything…”

“Out with it,” Bucky interrupted, lightly kicking Tony’s shin to put an end to his rambling.

“We’re going to the Children’s Zoo in Central Park tomorrow,” he began, frowning theatrically when a time display popped to life in the air in front of him, which Bucky assumed was JARVIS’s way of needling Tony. “Okay, we’re going to the zoo later  _today_ , if you want to be technical.” Tony rolled his eyes. “We’ll be there for about a half hour, and I know Maria would love it if you’d come, but it  _is_  very public, and there are crowds, so.”

Bucky assumed Tony was aware that he hadn’t actually left the Tower since Steve had had him cleared, and brought in. The idea was more than a little terrifying, but at the same time, no one would really expect the Winter Soldier to be hanging around a petting zoo. It wasn’t an all day excursion, either.

He took a deep breath, coming to a decision and opening his mouth just as Tony looked like he might begin talking away the invitation. “Okay.”

It was hard not to laugh at transformation as Tony actually processed the answer and switched gears midway through preparing to speak. “Okay? Okay. Great! We’ll be leaving here at ten, if that’s good?”

“That’s fine.”

“Thanks, you’re gonna make her whole day.”

Tony plopped down on the couch next to him, scrubbing a hand over his face. Bucky wanted to ask why Tony was down here beating on hunks of metal instead of sleeping—he was obviously tired—but at the same time, it wasn’t really his place to ask.

He’d been thinking a lot about Maria asking him if he was sick the way Tony was, though. Bucky cleared his throat. “The other night, before dinner, Maria said something about, ah, Frodo Baggins?”

He wondered if he’d ever get used to the ways in which Tony’s mood changed. Bucky could actually see him scramble to cover his reaction, only to abandon pretense, and allow the melancholy to shine through.

“Seemed like the easiest way to explain the PTSD,” Tony answered, chin tucked down against his chest. “I don’t know how much Steve told you, but there was a whole terrorist situation,” he knocked against the arc reactor.

“He told me you built the first version of the armor out of scraps in a cave,” Bucky answered, stomach in knots. Tony’s hands were fisted where they rested atop his thighs, and something in the set of his jaw was far too familiar. Bucky had seen it in the mirror more than once.  “And, uh, that Maria’s mom involved HYDRA and other universes? I didn’t realize that was something we had to worry about.”

Tony burst out laughing, slouching farther down into the couch. "Yeah, me neither, until I had a goddamned portal open up in my living room and a super hot female version of myself popped out with a seven month old.”

“Wow, he wasn’t kidding when he said it was complicated.”

There was another giggle, but Tony looked far too serious for Bucky’s liking. He decided it was probably best not to say what had popped into his head, which was that this meant Tony wasn’t actually Maria’s father.

“Complicated just about covers it. From what I was able to gather, HYDRA had won in her universe. Impregnated her as part of some breeding program. She kind of went above and beyond getting Maria to safety.” Tony swallowed, his mouth quirking to the side. “Toni was dying from what they did to her. We only got to talk for an hour or so before…” He shrugged.

“Does Maria know?”

“Not exactly? She knows she’s special, and that her mom loved her enough to move heaven and earth so we could be together.”

Bucky sighed. “Sorry.”

“I’m not. I mean, sure, I’m sorry that other me went through so much, and had to pay such a high price, but I’m not sorry Maria is here.” Tony shifted on the couch, looked him in the eyes. “That wasn’t always the case, but it is now.”

“If you’re actually prepared for a portal baby delivery, there’s gotta be something wrong with you,” Bucky posited, happy to see amusement make its way back onto Tony’s face.

“In my defense, I was also dying at the time. My head wasn’t exactly in the parenting zone.” He drummed his fingers against the reactor in his chest, and smiled a sad little smile. “I fixed that, though.”

“Sounds like a good recipe for PTSD.”

Tony tipped his head to the side, looked across the room to the wall of Iron Man suits. “I think I was doing okay with it, right up until the Battle of New York.”

Bucky thought back to the footage he’d watched, the news reports and other items Steve had prepared. He remembered Tony flying up and up, disappearing through a hole in the sky.

“The wormhole?”

Tony nodded slowly. “Yeah. After that? It all caught up with me. Started having anxiety attacks.” He turned to face Bucky again, brown eyes filled with sadness, and no small measure of guilt. “Idiot that I am, I tried to keep it under wraps. Wound up having one in front of Maria, which, yeah. Probably scarred her for life.”

Bucky wasn’t sure what to say about that. “I have nightmares where HYDRA finds a way to… to take over, again. Make me hurt people.”

“We won’t let that happen.”

He laughed at this, dark and painful, his eyes filling with tears. “You can’t make those sorts of promises.” Bucky stared at his hands, took a deep breath. “But thanks anyway.”

When he looked up, Tony was watching him. There was sympathy there, but it was tempered with understanding.

“I only remember Bilbo Baggins,” Bucky said, thinking back to the comment that had gotten them on the topic in the first place. “JARVIS said there were more books. After. Frodo is in one of them, I guess?”

Tony’s eyes lit up. “That’s right, they wouldn’t have been published yet. Yeah,  _The Lord of the Rings_ , they’re great books. I’ll let you borrow my copies.”

Tony hopped up off the couch, offered Bucky a helping hand up. After a moment’s hesitation, he reached back, accepting, and allowed Tony to pull him to his feet.

“There are movies, too, we can totally watch them together after you’ve read the books,” Tony babbled, heading out of the workshop. Bucky followed him without thinking, found himself in the elevator with Tony, heading upstairs. “That’s if you like the books, which you will. Just to warn you, Maria will be super jealous. She’s not old enough to watch them—I might have glossed over some of the more violent stuff when reading them to her. She’s seen the cartoon version of  _The Hobbit_ , though.”

Bucky tried not to laugh at Tony’s enthusiasm, which became easier when the elevator doors opened and he realized he was following Tony home. But that seemed to be what he was supposed to do, because Tony made a little “come on” hand gesture and headed for the part of the suite that had been left off the tour.

Tony’s bedroom also had Maria’s art hanging on the walls, more photos of the two of them together, but otherwise looked like it wasn’t used very often.

Bucky watched Tony open a drawer in one of the night stands, and out came a beat up old copy of  _The Fellowship of the Ring_. Tony placed it in his hands with a sort of reverent smile.

“This is a special copy. Aunt Peggy gave me the set, told me not to show Howard. She thought I was too serious for a kid, needed some fantasy and adventure in my life.”

Bucky thumbed open the cover, and there was Peggy Carter’s signature staring up at him. He had a moment of surreality, sucked in a mouthful of air and rode it out. It still caught him by surprise every now and again, just how much time had passed since he was last himself.

“Thanks,” he managed after a moment, tracing the swoops and swirls of Peggy’s signature. He closed the book, held it to his chest, and smiled down at Tony. “I’ll take good care of it.”

There was some strange undercurrent to Tony’s reciprocating smile, there and gone in a flash. He glanced around, as if suddenly realizing they were standing in his bedroom alone together, and Bucky watched in surprise as his ears turned pink.

“I’ll meet you here at 10?” Bucky asked, glancing at the numbers ticking away on one of Tony’s walls. It was after three in the morning.

“Yeah, that’s perfect.”

“I’ll just,” Bucky jerked his thumb over his shoulder, and Tony grinned, ducking his head to hide the smile as he shooed Bucky along.

+

Considering how much fun he had with Tony and Maria, it was strange to think he’d spent most of the morning regretting his decision to go to the zoo, and trying to come up with an excuse to get out of it. The only thing that actually kept him from backing out was the thought that Tony had already told the little girl he’d be there. He kept imagining the look of disappointment on her face, right up until he was knocking on their door.

Maria had yanked it open with excitement, smiling up at Bucky in a way that just pushed aside his anxiety. “Heard you needed help feeding some animals.”

Tony stood several feet away, holding Maria’s jacket, his smile just as bright as his daughter’s, and Bucky knew he’d made the right decision.

The air had that wonderful fall smell to it, the sun was shining, and as far as anyone around them was concerned, he was just a normal guy out enjoying a beautiful day. The panic he’d expected never came, and soon he stopped anticipating it altogether, just found himself thinking of Sam’s advice; fake it till you make it.

He wasn’t sure if that worked for relationships with other people, though. Maria chattered away as she walked between them, one of her tiny hands grasping Bucky’s bionic one, the other curled around her father’s, their arms swinging, steps in sync, as if they did this every day. As if Bucky belonged there.

“The goats are very friendly,” Maria informed him, her sweet little voice very serious. “I like to feed them best. The piggies are lazy. Right, Daddy?”

“That is quite right, Miss Maria,” Tony agreed, sharing a smile with Bucky.

They stood together and watched as Maria ran over to the goats, and began feeding them, Bucky grinning to himself over her enthusiasm.

“You’d think we weren’t here every week,” Tony said. “Thanks for coming, by the way.”

“My pleasure,” Bucky answered, and he meant it.

Despite declaring them lazy, Maria still wanted to check on the pigs, then the sheep, eventually leading them back to the goats so she could pet them again, and say goodbye. All throughout their visit, she explained everything she knew about the petting zoo and the animals to Bucky. Tony seemed to find it all highly amusing.

“I just love seeing Maria so comfortable talking to someone that isn’t me,” he said as they watched her enjoying herself. “She’ll happily spend time alone with Bruce or Pepper, but she’s still pretty quiet around them.”

“Well, it goes both ways,” Bucky said softly. “Just being around her makes me feel better.”

Tony stared at him, smiling a strange little smile. “Me too. I’m pretty sure that little girl saved my life.”

And to Bucky’s surprise, Tony reached down, took his left hand, and squeezed. Bucky squeezed back, and maybe they stayed that way until Maria finished feeding the goats.

+

Bucky clutched Tony’s copy of  _The Fellowship of the Ring_  to his chest, teeth worrying at his lower lip. He hadn’t slept in two days, and probably looked it, but at the moment that didn’t matter. All that mattered was that Tony answered the door, took one look at him, and pulled him inside.

“Finished?”

“I can’t believe Gandalf is gone,” Bucky said by way of greeting, handing the book over carefully.

It was difficult to part with, and not necessarily because of the words contained within. As he’d read the book, he’d find himself stopping again and again, running his fingers over the little imperfections, creases, folds, and obvious signs of where and how Tony had held the book over the years. Bucky would turn the volume over and over in his hands, wondering how many times Tony had read it, what state of mind he’d been in at the time.

He also spent a lot of time thinking about Tony holding his hand at the zoo, and how hard it had been to let go when the time had come to do so. Wondered if Tony had been equally reluctant.

“Bucky,” Maria called, running into the room. “We’re having waffles!”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt your breakfast.”

But Tony wrapped his hand around Bucky’s arm, and starting leading him toward the bedroom. “Go on, pudding pop, finish those waffles. I need to talk to Bucky for a sec.”

Maria made a big show of being annoyed, then stomped her way into the kitchen.

Tony was barefoot, wearing a white undershirt and slacks, his hair damp and sticking up in places, and Bucky was kicking himself for not checking the time before knocking. The rest of Tony’s clothes were laid out on his bed, but he ignored them for the moment, heading over to the nightstand in order to pull out the second volume.

“You wouldn’t happen to have an hour or two to kill, would you?” Tony asked, handing the book over. Now that he was paying better attention, Bucky could tell Tony was stressed out about something.

“Sure, what’s up?”

“Life saver,” he gushed, shoulders slumping with relief.

Tony rushed over to the bed and began dressing. Bucky was pretty sure watching someone _undress_  was supposed to be arousing. Still, there was something so intimate about watching Tony’s fingers fly quickly over the buttons of his shirt, watching him slip into his vest, and the practiced ease with which he put on his tie, that for the first time in a long time, Bucky felt the familiar surge of desire making itself known.

“These assholes Pepper has been working with for eight months are trying to back out of our deal,” Tony explained. “I need to go do my other, other,  _other_  job, or she might actually kill me. I was gonna drag Maria along, but I’ve got like twenty fucking minutes to get down there, and she moves at the speed of a glacier, and…”

“It’s fine, I can stay and watch her.”

“You’re my hero,” Tony insisted as he slid cufflinks into place. “I could kiss you right now.” If he noticed the way Bucky blushed at this remark, Tony was kind enough not to say anything. “JARVIS, chime in if she gets crafty and tries to pull one over on Bucky, okay?”

“Naturally, sir.”

“So did you like the first book?” Tony asked, tugging on his socks, hopping first on one foot, then the other.

“Uh, I’m a little crushed about Gandalf,” Bucky answered.

He considered confessing that since they’d first been described he’d come to the depressing conclusion that, out of all of Tolkien’s wonderful characters, he most closely resembled one of Sauron’s most terrible servants—the Nazgûl. But Tony was in a rush, and so he said nothing.

“I loved it. Maria’s right, Sam is great. And, it was nice to go back to Rivendell. I’m guessing things only get worse, though.”

Tony hummed noncommittally. “Yeah, a bit. Um, I’m going to try to make my hair look less insane. Help yourself to waffles, and if you can get her to actually finish her’s in under an hour, I’ll owe you big time.”

Bucky headed back out, and when he arrived in the kitchen, he found Maria using her fork to cut each square of her waffle off to eat it individually, her little legs swinging back and forth. She perked up when she saw Bucky.

“Apparently I get to eat waffles and play with you today. That okay?” Maria cheered, raising her arms in the air. “Sounds like a yes. Where are the plates?”

By the time Tony rushed back into the room, Bucky was eating waffles, encouraging Maria to try doing strips like him instead of individual squares. Not only did Tony look gorgeous and completely put together, his entire face lit up when he saw how much progress she’d made on her breakfast.

“Behave for Bucky, or he won’t want to babysit you again,” Tony said. “I’ll be back soon, I’m just going downstairs to see Aunt Pepper.”

“I promise I’ll be good,” Maria said in a little singsong voice, tilting her face up so Tony could kiss her forehead.

“See you soon.”

“Daddy, you didn’t give Bucky a kiss goodbye!”

“No, you’re right, that was very rude of me,” Tony agreed. He leaned over and planted a kiss on Bucky’s forehead. Bucky was happy to see he wasn’t the only one a little flustered after this. “Thanks again, JARVIS can reach me if you need anything.”

“Get going before you get in trouble,” Bucky ordered, pointing to the door.

He and Maria stared after Tony for a moment—even after the door had closed and he was obviously gone—before looking at each other, and smiling shyly. Bucky didn’t know the first thing about taking care of a kid, was pretty sure he should be terrified, but instead he felt the most relaxed he had since they’d all been to the zoo together.

First they finished their breakfast, then Bucky let Maria help him clean up, because apparently her neat and tidy room wasn’t because of a maid, or because Tony was strict; she  _liked_  cleaning.

After, they played with Mr. Buttons, Maria explaining how he worked, why she named him Mr. Buttons, and how she’d eventually modified him to  _poop_  buttons, much to Tony’s amusement.

They looked through several of her books on the solar system, Bucky in charge of holding Rho-Rho the stuffed rabbit while Maria flipped the pages, and read aloud to him.

It wasn’t until JARVIS interrupted them that Bucky realized how much time had passed. “Sir apologizes profusely, and asks if he might impose upon your patience a little longer. If you’re unable to remain with the mistress, he shall make other arrangements immediately.”

Maria gazed up at him hopefully. “I can stay.”

So he did. By the time Tony came back, they were finishing up their lunch of tomato soup and grilled cheese, and Bucky was answering Maria’s many, many questions regarding his arm.

“I dunno, I just think about opening them,” he explained, arm held out and the vents hissing open just as Tony walked into the kitchen.

“Huh,” he said, sliding into a free chair. Bucky grinned as Tony snatched the sandwich off his plate and took a bite. “Can you control how far they open, or is it just all or nothing?”

Bucky looked left and right, found almost identical pairs of big brown eyes watching him with excitement and curiosity. It should have creeped him out—typically he kept the arm hidden, hated talking about it—and yet, he felt warm, and comfortable.

“All or nothing.”

To his surprise, Tony’s eyes slowly widened, and he looked away, cheeks suspiciously pink.

“Daddy, I had the best day,” Maria announced solemnly. “Does Bucky have to go?”

Tony shifted, and Bucky felt disappointment wash through him. He knew he was intruding, but the idea of going back to his and Steve’s place, waiting for Steve to come home….

“I don’t want to say it’s your choice, and then have her guilt trip you into staying, so if you’d like to get on with your life, I’ll totally play the role of mean daddy, and tell her you have to go home.”

Bucky blinked. It was always strange hearing Russian again, especially from Tony. His pronunciation was heavily accented, but still completely understandable; it was nothing at all like listening to his handlers speak.

“Did you want me to go?” he asked, some small part of him rejoicing at the feeling of speaking Russian, even as nervousness made him fidget.

“Daddy,” Maria whined.

Tony worried at his lower lip with his teeth, like he was wrestling with a life or death decision.

“It’s okay, you probably want some alone time,” Bucky said, just as Tony said, “Would you stay and watch a movie with us?”

They stared at each other for a moment, then  Bucky asked, “Want a grilled cheese sandwich?”

The smile spread slowly across Tony’s face as he settled back in his seat. “Yes, please.”

+

Bucky watched quietly as Tony rocked Maria back and forth, whispering comforting words to her as she sniffled, and her little hands clutched at Tony’s shirt.

“It’s okay,” he swore, stroking her hair. “I’m right here, baby.”

He’d never felt like more of an interloper in their lives than at that moment, wanted to leave, but couldn’t.

Bucky had brought back Tony’s copy of  _The Two Towers_ , hopeful to be invited in; it’d been a rough session with Sam, and he felt raw, in need of comfort.

More and more, he came to understand the only time he felt truly at ease was when he was with Tony and Maria. Returning the book had been as good an excuse as any.

They’d been in the kitchen with mugs of hot chocolate talking about how happy he was when Gandalf returned, about Ents, and Faramir, while Tony amused him by actually speaking in Elvish.

“The journey through Mordor reminds me of the war,” Bucky had said, which was when Maria had scared the everloving crap out of them by screaming, and crying for her dad.

Instinctively, he’d followed Tony, which was how he found himself in the uncomfortable position of watching a little girl sob her heart out, while her dad tried to keep himself from sobbing right along with her.

Tony kissed Maria’s forehead, kept his lips there. “Wanna tell me what the dream was about?” She shook her head. “Might make it less scary.”

“I have bad dreams, too,” Bucky heard himself say. Watery brown eyed looked up at him from behind a mess of dark, wavy hair. “I tell Steve about them and it always makes me feel better.”

Tony shot him a grateful look, even as Maria’s lower lip trembled. “I dreamt a bad guy broke Daddy’s arc reactor,” she whispered, tears rolling down her face, “and I tried and tried, but I couldn’t fix it.” Maria looked up at Tony, and in a shuddering, apologetic little broken voice, said, “I don’t know how it works, Daddy.”

Bucky felt his stomach clench, especially when he saw the way Tony struggled with this revelation, fighting back tears and panic. Tony rocked her some more, nose in her hair as he tried to regain control, and Bucky was impressed with how calm he managed to sound when he spoke.

“Okay, that’s pretty scary,” he said. “I have that nightmare too, sometimes.”

Maria’s eyes widened and she looked up at her dad, one of her hands flush against the reactor, as if to make sure it was still there. Tony placed a hand over her own, and nodded in answer to the question in her eyes. “The good news is, we can fix this.”

“How?”

Tony stroked her hair, then unbuttoned his dress shirt until the blue glow of the reactor was visible through his undershirt, which seemed to help Maria relax. “I’ll show you how it works.”

Maria’s eyes widened, but the relief and excitement wavered, her lower lip trembling again. “But I’m too little,” she moaned. “What if there’s heavy stuff, or parts up high, and I can’t reach them, or…”

“He can show me, too,” Bucky offered, approaching the bed and kneeling at the side so he could look up into her scared little face. “I’m not as smart as you, but I’m strong, and I could help, if you ever needed to fix it.”

Maria looked to him, then back to her father, her expression far more hopeful than scared this time. Figuring he’d already overstepped his bounds, Bucky reached out and placed his bionic hand against her back, then forced himself to look at Tony. He didn’t seem angry, which was a relief, but Bucky couldn’t decipher what he saw in those brown eyes.

“There you go,” Tony said, tapping the tip of Maria’s nose. “It seems you have your very own Strider at your service, my little hobbit. JARVIS will help, too—he’ll be your Gandalf.”

Maria’s expression brightened, and she smiled up at Tony before hugging him again. “Do I have to go back to sleep?”

Tony pressed his lips into a thin line, as if trying not to laugh at this abrupt change in mood, but his eyes were bright and sorrowful when he looked to Bucky. “How about we put on _Star Wars_  out in the living room, and I’ll carry you back to bed when you conk out?”

“Yes, please.”

Thirty minutes later, she was breathing softly and evenly, her head in Tony’s lap while he stroked her hair. Tony was staring down at her, no longer bothering to hide the way his heart was aching, and Bucky once again opted to overstep his bounds. He reached out, placed his hand at the back of Tony’s neck, and squeezed.

Tony turned to face him, and Bucky thought of Frodo, of the hardship of carrying the ring through Mordor, thought of loneliness and burden and love.

“This kid of mine,” Tony whispered in Russian, biting down into his lower lip. “She deserves better. Somewhere, in one of these universes, there has to be a Tony Stark that isn’t a complete fuck up. I should have kept looking, found her a safer home.”

“Don’t be stupid,” Bucky hissed, surprised by the anger welling up inside of him. “You’re a _wonderful_  father.”

Tony’s brows drew together. “Really? I spend half my time playing super hero, when she needs to be able to count on me being here. Alive. That’s selfish, and… and fucked up.”

“Are you saying anyone that fights for a better world shouldn’t be allowed to have a family? What about cops? Soldiers?” He swallowed around the painful lump in his throat. “You know the world is a mess, and you’re trying to make it better. For her. You have a beautiful reason to fight. If she was somewhere else, maybe she’d have a nightmare about a monster under the bed, but that doesn’t mean she’d be any safer, or happier. Normal parents die all the time, Tony. Normal kids still have awful things happen to them.”

Bucky waited for Tony to tell him to get out, or mind his own business, but instead his breathing hitched, and he let his control slip, the tears beginning to escape. He brushed at them hurriedly, turning his head to the side as if to hide.

Bucky finally gave in to what he’d wanted to do for ages, and pulled Tony into a hug, or as close to a hug as he could manage without disturbing Maria. Tony tensed up for a moment, before letting himself relax, and Bucky wondered when the last time was that anyone had comforted him. Selfishly, Bucky didn’t want to let go.

“Loving someone this much is terrifying,” Tony whispered, slowly disentangling himself.

To Bucky’s surprise and delight, he didn’t pull away entirely, opting to slouch against his side instead. He worked his arm around Tony’s shoulders, his heart hammering fitfully in his chest. “Not recognizing yourself in the mirror is terrifying,” he murmured. “Being turned into a  _monster_  is terrifying.” He sighed, leaned his head against Tony’s, squeezed his eyes shut. “Love is a gift.”

Bucky’s eyes fluttered open at the feeling of Tony’s hand taking his own. Flesh and blood fingers tangled with metallic ones, and slowly his heart began to calm.

They stayed that way through the rest of the movie, not talking, not needing to talk.

+

Bucky should have known that when Tony told Maria he would show her how the arc reactor worked, he  _meant_ it. As in, by the time they were done, Tony expected them to be able to build one.

“There’s a lot to take in, so I’m thinking we’ll try two hour lessons,” Tony had announced on the first morning.

Bucky had looked to Maria, found her bright eyed, and enthusiastic. Then he found himself blown away, as Tony started at the beginning, pulling up holographic schematics.

“So, here we go. This is the version I built while hanging out in a cave,” he began.

Some of the lessons were longer than two hours—mostly because Maria begged to keep going—and some were a little less, but they all tended to end with Maria curled up on Bucky’s lap, the two of them enjoying juice boxes and snacks while Tony quizzed them on what they’d learned that day.

That Maria loved the lessons was obvious; she got excited about them the way other kids might have thrilled to go to an amusement park, or a toy store. Bucky was more impressed by her comprehension. It was only embarrassing the first few times she re-explained something Tony had just shown them, but he got over it rather quick. He was happy to do whatever it took to understand.

The more he learned about the reactor, the more Bucky marveled that Tony was even alive. Maria might not have nightmares about it breaking after this was all said and done, but he’d had a few along the way over the thought of Tony hooked up to a car battery in a cave.

That bit had wisely been left out of the lessons, as had the holographic representation of the shrapnel in Tony’s chest. Bucky had been treated to that bit of the story when they’d been alone together, that along with a recounting of how Stane had paralyzed him, and torn the reactor from his chest.

Even though much of it confused him, or left him in awe of the Starks, Bucky did his very best, and was eventually given a B+, along with a little certificate of completion when he and Maria finished up their arc reactor training course. Bucky placed it in his nightstand, and just hoped he never had to put the information to use.

+

“Which is when she finally comes to me to confess her crime, those sweet little eyes full of tears.” Tony cleared his throat, and did his best Maria impression. “Daddy, I did somefing vewy bad—I put all the kitty bombs in Clint’s game. I’m sowwy, don’t be mad!”

Bucky grinned, even though he didn’t quite follow what they were talking about. It was enough for him to see Tony so amused, his eyes scrunched up adorably as he rocked back and forth in his chair, laughing.

"You’re kidding me,” Steve groaned. “So his retaliation…”

Tony nodded, wiping at the corners of his eyes. “Wrong Stark,” he giggled. “Not that deleting my character was much of a retaliation, anyway. JARVIS has backups.”

Natasha smirked around her glass of wine. “Maybe we should put her to work,” she suggested.

Bucky wondered if Steve or Natasha noticed the way Tony’s fingers tensed around his mug, or the sudden brittle edge to his laugh.

Feeling awkward, Bucky cleared his throat. “I think I’m missing something,” he announced, shifting uncomfortably in his chair.

“Sorry, Buck. I don’t know if you remember, but the first time you met everyone Clint and Tony were fighting…”

“That wasn’t fighting,” Tony interrupted, smiling innocently. “That was playing, Cap.”

Steve rolled his eyes, and leaned over to give Tony a little shove.

“They were bickering like children,” Natasha finished. “Clint accused Tony of modifying his video game to add a weapon that hadn’t been there before.”

“Right, he called Tony a cheating liar-face,” Bucky said, watching the little smile tugging at the corner of Tony’s mouth. He watched Tony’s mouth a lot these days. “So, wait, Maria was the one who hacked into the game?”

“Yup,” Tony said, popping the p, and absolutely beaming with pride. “We had a rematch yesterday, and I took out his entire team with kitty based weaponry that wasn’t supposed to be in the game, and he lost his mind! Even better, Maria programmed them only to be usable by my character, so when  _Clint_  tried to use the gun, it nuked him all over again.“

"Clint had a bit of a tantrum over the comms an hour later, in the middle of a fight, so I wound up reading him the riot act,” Steve added.

Tony nodded. “This is priceless. I  _just_  managed to keep a straight face while telling her it’s wrong to mess with other people’s stuff like that, but,” he placed a hand over his heart, “I’m so proud. I can’t wait to make her apologize tomorrow. When Clint finds out he was bested by a four year old?” Tony shook his head, and pushed back in his chair, balancing it on two legs. “Christmas came early, kids.”

"She’s  _four_?” Bucky asked, making sure he’d heard correctly.

“Well, almost four and a half,” Tony corrected with a smile, taking another sip of his coffee. “Why, how old did you think she was?”

“Six, at least. I just figured she was small for her age.”

Steve coughed, and smiled innocently at Tony.

“Not everyone is Captain America or Thor sized, thank you very much,” Tony grumbled.

Bucky opened his mouth to say that he liked Tony’s size just fine, but promptly snapped it shut again before making a total ass of himself. Steve tilted his head and grinned knowingly at him, batting his lashes.

“Good things come in small packages,” Steve said. “At least, that’s what Bucky always used to say.”

Tony glanced between them, eyes narrowing suspiciously. “He was only 5’4” before the serum.” Bucky made a mental note to kick Steve once they were alone together.

“I predict Clint is mad for three minutes, then asks her to mod the game further,” Natasha said, thankfully steering the conversation away from Bucky’s appreciation of persons with a shorter stature.

Tony rocked forward so all four legs of his chair were once again on the ground. “Good point. As long as she asks first, she can mod to her heart’s content.”

“Four seems really young for that sort of thing.” Bucky wasn’t sure why he was surprised—he thought back to their shared lessons—but that number just shocked him. Steve and Natasha exchanged glances, and Bucky wondered if he’d managed to insult Tony, somehow. “Sorry, was that…”

Tony waved his hand dismissively. “No, you’re right, it’s not exactly normal, but I wasn’t a normal kid, either. Built my first circuit board at age four, actually. So, I guess she takes after her father. Er, well, technically her mother,” he babbled, brows drawn together. “Maria is a  _Stark_ , is what I’m trying to say.”

Bucky watched as Tony carefully placed his empty mug on the table, and rose from his seat. It was obvious something about the conversation was troubling him—Bucky could almost see him censoring himself.

“And, on that note, I must bid you all adieu,” he announced, looking at his watch. “We’re coming up on bedtime, and it’s always tough getting her to sleep after a visit with Uncle Bruce.” Tony waggled his fingers next to his ear. “Too many ideas whirling around in her head. Thanks for the invite, Steve.”

“Same time next week? It’ll be Bucky’s turn to cook.”

“Can’t say no to that, can I?” Bucky looked up as Tony smiled down at him, and gave his shoulder a squeeze. “ _Guren nallatha nalú achenin le_ , Bucky.”

He tried to hold onto the words, running them over and over in his mind. Tony had been dropping Elvish into their conversations more and more as of late, and he’d only been able to figure out a few of the phrases, so far.

“ _Navaer_ ,” he replied. Farewell was one of the few words he knew.

Bucky’s stomach did a funny little flip flop as Tony’s fingertips brushed against his skin when he let his hand slide away from his shoulder. Bucky wanted to follow Tony to the door. Wanted to tag along, to hear about what Maria and Bruce had gotten up to, wanted to follow them upstairs, to help put her to bed, to stick around for storytime.

Wanted to follow Tony back out to the couch, to sit with him and talk about  _The Return of the King_ —Sam and Frodo were so close to completing their quest—and ask why Tony’s expression had darkened at the end of their conversation.

And if he was being honest, he wanted so much  _more_  than that. He wanted to touch him, wanted to taste him, to pull him into his arms, to breathe him in, and…

“Wow,” Natasha said. “You weren’t kidding.”

Bucky blinked, suddenly remembering that he wasn’t alone. Steve and Natasha were staring at him. “What?”

“Bucky,” Steve’s expression softened, his voice warm, and affectionate, and understanding. “Why don’t you tell him how you feel?”

He swallowed, and looked away. There were reasons, but they all were more or less the same reason. He was scared. He was scared Tony would gently reject him, but he was equally scared that he might accept him. Considering he was the same person that had lectured Tony about love being a gift, it was sort of fitting that he was too scared to take any for himself.

“I’m not ready,” he answered.

Thankfully, Steve said nothing more, just gave his hand a squeeze, and found something else to talk about, allowing him to sit quietly and run the Elvish words over in his mind, again and again.

Once he was behind closed doors, he spent a good bit of time trying to decipher what Tony had said, getting nowhere. “JARVIS, any way you could translate the Elvish for me?” he asked on a whim, staring up at the ceiling hopefully.

There was a lengthy pause, just long enough for Bucky to feel his spirits sink, before JARVIS said, “My heart shall weep until I see thee again.”

Bucky’s fingers tightened around Tony’s battered old copy of  _The Return of the King_ , heart pounding in his chest, smiling wide enough to make his cheeks ache.

“If I needed to be able to say something in Elvish, would you be able to help me?” he asked once he trusted himself to speak.

“Of course,” JARVIS answered immediately, and Bucky wondered if he was imagining the approval he heard in the A.I.’s voice.

+

Bucky practiced what he wanted to say, over and over, every night before bed, wondering when he might have the courage to share the words with Tony. Each night, he read a little more, until he reached a point where he simply couldn’t put down the book, his eyes burning, his heart aching. A sob escaped as Sam placed little Elanor upon his lap, and told his wife “Well, I’m back.”

He didn’t remember leaving his room, or the elevator ride up, just found himself at Tony’s door, knocking, heedless of the hour. Warm brown eyes were waiting on the other side, looked to him with concern when the door was opened, then understanding as he saw the book clutched in Bucky’s hand.

“You finished,” Tony said, a melancholy note in his voice.

Bucky stared down at him, at the beautiful, familiar curves of his face, at the strong set to his shoulders, and the little lines at the corners of his eyes, at the blue glow of the reactor humming away in his chest, and all of the things he was feeling seemed to be pressurized inside of him.

“I don’t want to be a Nazgûl, Tony. I want an ending like Sam’s,” Bucky confessed, his voice thick with emotion. “I want a reason to fight, and… and a home, a  _real_  home. The only time I feel  _alive_  is when I’m with you and Maria.” Tony’s eyes widened, his lips parting in surprise, but Bucky just plowed on. “I’m in love with you. I  _love_ both of you. Tony,” he swallowed, took a deep breath, remembering the words he’d practiced. “ _Guren min gaim lín_.”

_My heart is in your hands._

If he had physically torn his own heart from his chest it might have hurt less than standing there, hoping, waiting, praying. Watching Tony’s eyes, searching for a clue, feeling despair wash over him.

Tony stepped into the hallway, closing the door behind him, and Bucky let his head hang, a weary, despondent sigh escaping, as he struggled not to drop to his knees with the weight of his disappointment.

“Bucky, look at me,” Tony ordered softly, his voice shaking. So he did, he lifted his head and met Tony’s eyes, hard as it was. “I haven’t… I haven’t been with anyone since she came into my life. Pepper and I, we might have had something, but I walked away from it—I had to—in order to focus on Maria.”

Tony looked conflicted, as if he was being torn in half, and despite himself, Bucky reached for him, stroked his cheek, surprised when one of Tony’s warm hands covered his own.

“Getting my own heart broken is one thing,” he said, mouth trembling. “But I have to think about her heart, too.”

“So let me help you,” Bucky whispered, stroking Tony’s cheek with his thumb. “We can protect her together.” Looking into Tony’s eyes, Bucky knew without a doubt that his feelings were reciprocated, and felt a strange calmness wash over him. “But if you’re not ready yet, I’ll wait. For the rest of my life, if that’s how long it takes. Just… until then, please don’t push me away. Let me be near you both, at least?”

Tony’s resolve seemed to waver. “It’s not all trips to the zoo,” he said. “She’s an absolute brat sometimes, and I’m even  _worse_ …”

“We can go slow,” Bucky offered, gazing down into brown eyes, feeling as if he was floating. “We don’t have to tell her right away. I’d rather die than hurt either of you, so just tell me what you want, what you need, and I’ll give it to you.”

Tony blinked, his expression darkening. “What if I decide it’s safer to stop now, before she gets too attached?”

“Anything, Tony. And if that means you need me to go, so Maria can… forget me,” his voice broke, and he let go of Tony in order to wipe at his eyes, “I  _will_. Even though it’ll break my heart.”

Which was when Tony surged forward, bringing their mouths crashing together, stealing Bucky’s breath. Relief, a sense of rightness washed through him as he wrapped his arms around Tony, lifted him slightly off the ground, kissed him back, swallowing the soft, panicked noises he was making.

Kissing Tony was like coming back to life. Whenever they’d taken him out of the cryochamber, there was a period of time when he shivered, and shook, and didn’t know who he was, what he was, knew nothing except for the cold. This was the polar opposite of that experience. Tony was warmth, and comfort, and everything his life had been missing.

Bucky held him tight, rocked him, laughing softly to himself as Tony said, “I’m ready to try,” lips brushing against Bucky’s cheek.

+

It turned out Tony took trying very seriously. He and Steve had a private meeting, and then later that same day there was another with the entire team, where he explained what was going on. After talking it through, they’d decided not to tell Maria yet, and so Tony made it painfully clear that everyone needed to keep their mouths shut, and leave off with any of the typical friendly teasing that would normally accompany a change along these lines.

Because of that, no one commented when Maria and Tony teamed up to braid Bucky’s hair during movie night, or if the two of them spent an inordinate amount of time smiling at each other, or the three of them sprawled together in the common area.

True to their word, no one teased, or said a word about the cozy little scenes they encountered. Behind closed doors was a different story entirely; Steve had pulled him into a bear hug on more than one occasion.

“I’m so proud of you,” he’d say.

Bucky watched Maria more and more, and he finally got to witness some of her naughtier behavior, but on the whole, he couldn’t imagine a better kid. He was biased, of course, but figured he was allowed to be.

Tony handled all of the true parenting, but behind the scenes he involved Bucky as much as possible. He learned how lonely Tony’s own childhood had been, how Howard had pushed him, how he’d never felt he was good enough, and their dinner conversation from what felt like a lifetime ago suddenly made more sense.

It was obvious Tony wanted to make sure Maria’s childhood was happier than his own. As a result, he tended to second guess himself, especially when it came to Maria’s extracurricular activities, and education.

She was almost terrifyingly smart for her age, and it had been the same for Tony. He lived in fear that her showing an interest in science and robotics was done only out of a desire to make him happy.

“Am I pushing her too hard?” Tony asked more often than he should. “She should be playing with dolls, right?”

“Tony, she spent four and a half hours today telling me about how she was going to build a zoo on the moon,” Bucky said, running his fingers through Tony’s hair while they sprawled on the couch at the end of a long day. “Most of that conversation involved excitedly explaining the twelve types of robots she was going to need to invent in order to accomplish her goal.”

“You’d tell me if…”

Bucky kissed him quiet. “She’s happy, Tony. You’re doing great.”

“But if I’m not, if I start fucking up, you’ll say something, right?”

Tony relaxed as soon as Bucky answered, “Yes.” He kissed him again. “I’ll never let anyone hurt her, Tony. Especially not you.”

It made Bucky feel loved and trusted, knowing that Tony valued his input where Maria was concerned. It made him feel like part of their family, even when he spent long hours back in his bed, feeling stranded and lost and so very far away from the warmth of their home.

All in all it was good. Bucky couldn’t remember ever being quite so content.

Sneaking kisses when Maria was out of the room, making out like horny teenagers once she’d been put to bed. Bruce, kind soul that he was, volunteered to babysit once or twice a week. He supposed they could have gone out, had a proper date, but instead they all but ran to Tony’s bedroom, taking advantage of having the place to themselves.

Despite being equally attracted to men, most of his sexual experiences had been with women, at least until the war. After being deployed, he’d found other men like himself, or at least like enough to be interested in sharing a moment’s comfort and pleasure amidst the waking nightmare their lives had become. There’d never been much time for love during the war. They were just encounters, fleeting moments, there and gone again.

Being with Tony was nothing like that. He had time to learn, to explore, conquer, discover. Tony was his first for so very many things, but never pressured him into anything. Was content with whatever Bucky was comfortable sharing, and showed warmth and gratitude whenever Bucky asked to be shown something new.

Tony indulged him, spoiled him rotten, made him moan, reduced his vocabulary to, “Tony,” and, “harder,” all while whispering sweet endearments, until Bucky thought he couldn’t take it anymore; Tony always knew the exact moment to give him what he asked for, pounding into him hard, deep, until Bucky flew to pieces, coming while chanting Tony’s name.

“ _Meleth e-guilen_ ,” Tony groaned, head thrown back while riding Bucky, so that he found himself thinking of sweat glistening on Tony’s skin, of the taste and smell and tight heat of him whenever he heard the Elvish slip from his tongue.

Lovesick fool that he was, Bucky studied until he had a whole set of phrases at his disposal.

“ _Melithon le anuir_ ,” he’d find himself saying most frequently, because he couldn’t imagine doing anything  _but_  loving Tony forever.

The sex was amazing, but then it  _all_  felt amazing to him. It was only parting that left him with a heavy heart. He wanted to know what it was like to fall asleep and wake up beside Tony. Wanted to be there for every storytime, for every tantrum, or nightmare, for every one of Tony and Maria’s bad days as much as the good ones. He hated the idea of missing a single minute of their lives.

Which was selfish, he supposed.

“ _Hin lín luin sui venel laer_ ,” Tony declared one afternoon, taking a big bite from his sandwich. He smiled at Bucky, stretching out on their picnic blanket.

“What’s that mean, Daddy?”

“It means Bucky’s eyes are blue like the summer sky,” Tony explained, making Bucky blush.

“His eyes are very pretty,” Maria agreed. “I wish I had blue eyes.”

“That would make me sad. I like your brown eyes,” Bucky said, trading juice boxes with her. “They remind me of your dad’s.”

Maria stared at him a moment. “Are you in love with Daddy?”

Bucky froze like a deer in headlights, juicebox halfway to his mouth, unsure of what to do. He looked to Tony for guidance, already coming up with ways to answer both without lying, and without revealing their relationship. Except… except Tony was  _nodding_  at him.

“I love him very much,” he answered, feeling a wave of giddiness wash over him, leaving him lightheaded.

Maria smiled and turned around to look at her father. “Daddy,” she whispered, wide eyed with excitement. “Did you hear that?”

“I did, pumpkin,” he answered, trying very hard not to laugh. “I love him, too. In fact, I wanted to know how you would feel if Bucky decided to live with us.”

Maria gasped, her head whipping around to look at Bucky, then back at her dad, then back to Bucky. “You’re going to live with us?” she shrieked excitedly.

“Let’s give him some time to think…”

Bucky cut Tony off. “Yup. But only if it’s okay with you. I’ll still be around all the time, even if you say ‘no,’ and you don’t have to decide right now, either.”

Maria looked at him like he was stupid. “You have to move in right now, Bucky,” she insisted, jumping up and tugging at Tony’s hand. “Daddy, come on!”

“Is that a yes?” Tony asked, playing stupid. Maria stomped her foot, so Bucky snatched her up, gave her a kiss on the cheek, then pulled Tony to his feet. “Let’s go home,” he suggested, and Bucky, sap that he was, had to struggle not to cry.

+

At first, living with the Starks was like a dream come true, everything running smoothly, but eventually reality set in. Fake it till you make it came in very handy those first few weeks. Oddly enough, Bucky soon found he liked reality better than the ease of the dream, even if it occasionally sucked.

He tackled their morning routine as if he was going into battle, so that after a month, Tony could get an extra hour’s sleep, knowing everything would run smoothly. He had the inevitable butting of the heads with Maria the first time he had to say ‘no’ and stick to his guns, had been extremely grateful that Tony had calmly reinforced his authority as a parental figure.

They became experts at quiet sex, which was sort of hot, really, and maybe sometimes Bucky was evil and did his very best to make Tony forget himself, and moan. But only when he knew Maria was deep asleep, and wouldn’t hear them.

The true test of their relationship came months later when Tony had to leave town on business. He was, without a doubt, a complete fucking  _wreck_ , because for the very first time he was letting Maria stay at home without him. With Bucky. Who was terrified he’d ruin everything.

The first day, Tony drove him crazy calling every fifteen minutes, until Maria actually yelled at him. “I miss you, too, Daddy, but you’re being a brat,” she accused.

“Miss Maria, don’t be rude,” Bucky scolded. “What do we say?”

“Sorry, Daddy.”

Through the wonders of modern technology, Tony stared at them from his hotel room in Japan.

“Very good. We’re leaving for dance class in eight minutes. Will you be ready to go?”

“I need to put on my tights,” she squeaked, running out of the room.

“No running in the house!” Bucky smiled as he watched her go, then turned around to find Tony still staring, the strangest expression on his face. “Sorry, I’ll let you know once she’s there, then…”

“No, it’s fine. You’re doing great,” Tony blurted.

“Are you okay?”

Tony nodded. “I just miss my family. I love you, I’ll talk to you tonight.”

The strange look in Tony’s eyes had stuck with him for the rest of the day, but he seemed normal enough when they spoke that evening. He’d even called back again two hours later when Maria was in bed.

Bucky locked the door, transferred the video call to the large display in the bedroom, and he spent the next hour or so learning how much fun you could have long distance, Tony ordering him in Russian to strip, and begin touching himself as soon as the door was closed.

+

“Nope, you don’t have time for waffles,” he said, sliding the bowl of oatmeal back in front of Maria. “But in the spirit of compromise, I put blueberries in this.”

She groaned, but started eating her breakfast without further argument, had almost finished when the front door opened and Tony came tumbling in. “Well, I’m back!”

“Daddy!”

Bucky hung back, smiling as he watched the father daughter reunion taking place, but then found himself swept up in a hug, then a kiss, then a deeper kiss, fingers tangled in his hair.

“ _Guren linna a chened le_ ,” Tony whispered.  _My heart sings to see you_.

They rushed a very put upon Maria off to her morning lessons, Bucky’s own heart singing all the while, until they were alone together. Instead of being dragged to the bedroom as expected, he found himself being sat down at the kitchen table.

“I need to tell you something,” Tony said, taking his hand. “Well, a couple things, really.”

Bucky immediately thought of the week they’d spent apart. Tony had to have been checking up on him, and maybe he’d forgotten something important. “What did I do wrong?”

“You did everything right,” Tony insisted, kissing his palm. “Just listen for a minute. When I was stuck in Japan and was watching you two, it was like… the distance made things clearer, somehow?”

He wanted to throw up, but did his best to remain calm. Tony didn’t seem upset with him, just serious.

“It made me realize that you’re her parent now, too,” Tony said, and Bucky wanted to cry. “That’s  _amazing_. I just… Bucky, I don’t know how the hell I did this without you for so long.”

Bucky did cry a little at this. “Yeah?”

“Definitely. And I want to marry you.” Tony looked at him hopefully. “I want you to marry  _us_. Is that okay?”

“Fuck yes,” Bucky said, laughing. Tony allowed himself to be pulled into a kiss, but something in his eyes told Bucky that wasn’t the end of the conversation. “What is it?”

Tony swallowed. “Okay, this next bit is kind of insane. I’ll understand if you freak out, because I freaked out. I’ve actually been freaking out for about thirty-six hours straight now, but In Bruce We Trust, so…”

Bucky felt like his heart was going to punch its way out of his chest. “Tony, what are you talking about?”

“Remember what I said about distance making things clearer?” Bucky nodded. “I… I was watching the two of you on that video call, and,” Tony scrubbed a hand over his face, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“She has your chin,” he finally said, reaching up to drag his thumb through the stubbled dimple. His eyes were bright as he spoke. “Your jawline.”

Bucky laughed, shaking his head. “Tony,” he began, but warm fingers pressed against his lips, silencing him.

“Hey, listen to me, I’m not being sentimental,” Tony insisted. “The universe Maria’s mom came from… HYDRA wasn’t hiding, they were  _ruling_. The Winter Soldier was probably a national hero, there. And Toni was the leader of the resistance movement. It almost makes a fucked up kind of sense when you think about it, really.”

“What are you saying?” Bucky hissed, pushing Tony’s hand away, suddenly terrified.

He watched Tony’s nostrils flare, saw the edge of vulnerability in his eyes, was so transfixed that he almost missed it when Tony said, “I had Bruce run the DNA. You’re Maria’s biological father. The  _other_  you, whatever version of you exists or existed in that other universe.”

Bucky felt like someone had suckerpunched him, just knocked all of the air right out of his lungs. He rocked back in his chair, struggling to wrap his head around what he was being told.

“She’s  _ours_?” he managed after a moment. “Maria is  _our_  baby?”

Tony nodded, relaxing as Bucky began to smile. He yanked Tony into his arms, laughing, struggling with the idea of it all. “I’m guessing you’re happy-freaked?”

“Are you kidding me? This is amazing,” he gushed, kissing Tony. Oh, and that was much better, being kissed back, Tony’s hands in his hair, playing with the braids Maria had placed there. The braids  _their_  daughter had given him. “Maybe that’s why?”

Tony stroked his face. “Why what?”

“Right from the beginning,” he laughed, wiped at his eyes. “She stole my heart, you know?”

Tony’s smile lit up his entire face. “Yeah, I know a little about that.”

He leaned back in close, captured Bucky’s mouth for another kiss before dragging him off to the bedroom. Bucky happily allowed himself to be shoved onto the bed, the two of them taking their time undressing each other, kissing, stroking, until they were finally swept away by urgency.

Bucky lost himself to pleasure, their fingers twining as he rolled and snapped his hips, lips dragging against the slick skin between Tony’s shoulder blades, whispering his adoration, feeling alive, and loved, and home.

He thought of his childhood, of the pieces he could remember, thought of the war, of all he had lost, all of the ways in which he had been used, and changed, corrupted. The world had moved on without James Buchanan Barnes. Unlike Steve, there had been no one looking for him, because the world thought him dead.

Not once had he ever thought to find reason to celebrate any aspect of what he had been remade into, the self-described monster he has become, and yet because of the very people he hated, there was this beautiful life in the world.

Bucky held Tony close, held on for dear life, allowed himself to be held tight in return. He was safe in Tony’s arms, in their bed, in their home, as they caught their breath together.

During the war, he’d never dared to dream anything half as good was waiting for him back home, and after seeing Steve again, seeing the ways he had changed, how he no longer needed Bucky, he knew there was nothing left back there for him to fight for, either. There was simply nothing left.

But there, in their bed together, Bucky felt he could finally let go of the past; he had a reason to fight, the very best of reasons, had a future to build with Tony, and their daughter.

Heart so full of love it actually hurt, Bucky smiled, and held Tony tight, and knew he would be understood when he said, “Well, I’m back.”

**Author's Note:**

> This is technically part of the "[Imagine Tony & Bucky](http://archiveofourown.org/series/227312)" series, but it is so epic I made it a stand alone. Also, I will be writing more in this universe, so... Seemed right. :)
> 
> If you like Bucky & Tony as daddies, check out my other full time winter iron universe, where "[Regression Analysis](http://archiveofourown.org/works/3282824)" is wrapping up. Tony + Bucky + a baby Steve Rogers = wow, a lot of feelings, actually. >___>;;;


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